Dear Clever Expat,

You may be wondering what it’s like to integrate yourself into a new culture abroad, and I have to admit that this has been an ongoing struggle for me. In this post, let’s talk about the things you can do to more effectively embrace a new chapter in your life and culture. I’ve found that a new resident needs a cultural “hook” to get them started as a new participant in an established social structure.

In my case, I have found a small group of friends that help me enlarge my horizons. Some are Spanish, some are Latin American, and some are from the US like me. What we all have in common is a desire to explore, to seek out immersion opportunities, to enlarge our understanding of Spain in meaningful ways.

That is why I am more likely to say “yes” when someone asks me or us to participate in a new adventure. Not every time, but frequently. Here are some things that I agreed to do and feel all the richer for:

• Spent the weekend with a friend in Ondara, a small pueblo near Valencia. We had a lovely time and he showed us some beautiful sites nearby. We would never have seen them otherwise, and we even had lunch on the side of a mountain in a restaurant that served a specialty of wild boar.
• Visited Benidormfest and gone on vacation with a new group of friends that are incredibly kind and welcoming, and put up with my limited Spanish skills. These friends have done many things together, and now they are making space for us to participate, too.
• Gone to theater and improv comedy events featuring friends of some of our friends. Did I understand much? Uhhhm. No. But I was there and enjoyed participating in the event. It’s a good reason to continue working on my language skills!
• Enjoyed a baroque music concert in a fantastic rococo church that has been dubbed “the Cistene Chapel of Valencia.” When I shared the event with a social chat to see if a friend or two wanted to go with me, the interest was surprising. We suddenly had a 15-person contingent of Americans and expats who joined me!
• Visited museums and art installations in Valencia with a friend who has a deep appreciation for art and local history. Whether it was a walking tour for a route of nativity scenes or a local history museum, I was able to learn and practice Spanish with native speakers in a relaxed setting.
• Attended dinners to celebrate birthdays and other special occasions. Typically, this is a great way to meet new people, especially since we have at least one friend in common. I belong to several overlapping social groups, some of which are in English, some that require my Spanish skills, and some that vacillate between two (or more) languages.
• Gone to friends’ homes for authentically Valencian meals. Whether it has been paella, a holiday event meal, or other seasonal meals that celebrate the season with typical fruits and vegetables, I have been absolutely amazed at the hospitality and caring that my friends have put into having others over.
• Participated in a now-regular table games night where we switch between Spanish and English, depending on who is attending. The conversation goes in so many directions while you are collaborating or competing with others in the game.

Each of these events required me to say “yes,” even when it was perhaps inconvenient, a late night, or going into an environment where I did not know what to expect. Whether it’s people that I don’t know, situations I don’t fully understand, or generosity of folks I have only casually met, I feel very lucky to be invited and to participate.

Saying yes is a skill, and it’s one that you can practice now before moving abroad. Join a meetup group, take a special-interest class, or reach out to an acquaintance that you have met in the past. Make the time to enlarge yourself and meet new people. You may not have much success at first, but the practice is a key expat skill!

Why should you say yes as an expat? There are some really good reasons for saying yes with enthusiasm:

You need a tribe. Moving to a new country strips away your familiar social circles. Saying yes to new people and experiences helps rebuild that network quickly and supports your appreciation of your new community.

You Learn the Culture Faster. I learned more about Spanish customs, humor, and lifestyle from spontaneous invites than I ever could from books or apps.

You are more likely to make friends through new experiences. New friendships can come from the most unlikely encounters—a shared bench at a language exchange, a coffee with a new acquaintance, a neighbor asking for help, or a colleague’s casual after-work drink invite.

Moving abroad comes with both challenges and incredible opportunities, and one of the most powerful tools for integration is simply saying “yes.” Embracing invitations—from weekend trips to small towns and cultural outings, to dinners and game nights—has helped me forge meaningful friendships and immerse myself in Spanish life. Building a sense of belonging abroad often starts with small acts of courage and openness, even when language or uncertainty makes it daunting. Saying yes isn’t always easy, but it’s a vital expat skill that creates connection, deepens cultural understanding, and enriches your everyday life.

Keep exploring!

The Clever Expat