Dear Clever Expat,

This is the second of a series of posts about what I have learned while living abroad. Read the first post here.

In short, I live in Valencia, Spain, and this is my second time living here. This time I’ve lived here since 2021.

In many countries, the culture of food is indicative of the spirit of the people. In this post, we’ll talk about the gastronomy culture, from grocery stores to what it’s like to have a meal with friends, and even touch on my experiences as a vegetarian.

Gastronomy as a culture

When I moved back to Spain in 2021, I was looking forward to exploring the Spanish way of cooking, eating, and enjoying meals. In the US, I was used to rushed meals in restaurants that were often mediocre and expensive. One hour, MAX, was our time at the table, with the waiter coming to the table and leaving the check saying, “I’ll just leave this here for when you are done.” Finding good vegetables that were fresh, flavorful, and reasonably priced was a serious endeavor. Eating in the car was normal, with fast food available on every corner.

Here, the contrast is significant. The food culture of Spain is deep, and even simple dishes can be elevated to a new level because of your table partners. You will rarely see people eating and walking here. Instead, even stopping by a bar or cafe for a quick bite to eat is an opportunity to relax, take in your surroundings, and get reoriented to the moment. As a rule, eating is an important part of the day, and is treated with respect.

As an example, look at the six potential times to eat in Valencia:

1. Breakfast (usually something quick like toast with tomato or jam and coffee)
2. Almuerzo (the mid-morning break, where you might have a sandwich and a beer or wine… or just a croissant and a coffee)
3. Lunch (larger meal that usually involves a protein, a carb, and a vegetable, so expect a variety of things on the plate)
4. Merienda (afternoon break for something sweet and a coffee or tea)
5. Dinner / Supper (a substantial meal to finish the day, usually eaten after 9:00PM and up to midnight)
6. Resupón (a “re-supper” for a meal or a bite after being out with friends – think going to a diner after a nightclub)

Do people eat all of these? Maybe, but most people choose the ones that make the most sense for their schedules. Many office workers go out together to a coffee shop at around 11:00AM for almuerzo. School may release students to go home for lunch. Really, it depends on the person or family, the day, and the occasion. Weekends may follow a completely different rhythm than weekdays, and as an immigrant here in Spain, I’ve learned a lot by watching people choose uniquely Spanish eating cultures.

And if you are in a restaurant, you typically have the table until the restaurant closes to prepare for the dinner crowd or closes for the night. Rarely have I been rushed out of a restaurant to turn the table for new diners. In fact, it’s considered quite rude to get your food and immediately ask for the check.

I have learned to love sobremesa

Since eating in Spain is a culture of enjoying your food and your friends, it makes sense that people spend much longer at the table to chat, share ideas, have a post-dinner drink or aperitif/small shots of a (usually sweet) “digestive” liquor.

As an expat, I first found this practice a bit much, because I had finished my meal and was now ready to leave the table. Over time, I came to enjoy and really look forward to the time at the table. When the rush is removed, everyone has eaten, and you have no other plans that evening, the conversation part comes easy. It’s not necessarily that the food makes the meal special, it’s the conversation.

I feel that in the US, special meals come with contentious conversations (think about the reality of Thanksgiving Dinner arguments!). In Spain the conversations can more casually cover the topics of each person’s life. There’s a real interest in hearing what others have to say. This means that meals can last for many hours, especially big holiday meals with family.

Sobremesa is about treating the others at the table as the special part of the meal. And frankly, I love the tradition.

The mysterious world of grocery shopping

The focus on quality food is evident in the supermarkets. While prices for many items are quite low, there are very few pre-prepared dishes or meals. Yes, you can buy a refrigerated pizza to cook at home, but you will have a higher quality and tastier result if you get the ingredients for that pizza that you assemble at home. And the interesting thing is that the pricing works out in your favor, too.

As you might expect, the items available in the grocery stores are geared to the Spanish palate. Spices are considerably fresher in my experience, but you won’t find more specialized ingredients, like marjoram or mace. You’ll either have to find those in a foreigner-focused food store or online. Which is why I have an enormous amount of dried marjoram in my cabinets as I write this. (Who knew that 250 grams of marjoram is about the size of a brick!)

Fruits and vegetables are much cheaper than in the US and typically don’t travel nearly as far to get to the grocery store. That means the produce has flavor, and while the selection is limited (see the note on the Spanish palate above; I have not been able to find green onions anywhere other than the central farmer’s market), what is available is typically high quality. And if you want even higher quality, you can find a neighborhood green grocer who will happily sell you locally sourced produce in a variety that changes seasonally.

If you go to the grocery store in Spain, be prepared for the checkout process. The food will be scanned and often slid down the counter extremely rapidly. I have seen this in multiple supermarkets and in multiple supermarket chains. You are somehow supposed to be catching (and bagging) the groceries as they are being scanned AND be ready to pay for your groceries. (Here’s a video that might help you understand.)

Overall, I have learned that it’s much easier to find quality ingredients at a lower price in Spanish grocery stores. You may not have as much variety, but I enjoy cooking. I definitely appreciate the items that I can use to create tasty meals.

The meat culture

One thing that consistently shocks my new Spanish acquaintances: I am a vegetarian. Aside from their inability to comprehend why I wouldn’t be in love with meat the way that most Spaniards are, my friends are often quick to champion my dietary requirements to waiters if we are at a restaurant. It’s a strange paradox of being low-level offended that I don’t eat meat and then making sure that others understand that I don’t eat meat.

I’ve been vegetarian for 33 years. I remember when some of the popular vegetarian and vegan products on the market today were first appearing on shelves in specialty markets and later in supermarkets. I have no interest in eating bacon, fish, ham, or beef. And I have to explain that frequently. “How do you know you don’t like jamón if you haven’t tried it,” someone will ask. I assure them that I will live perfectly well without meat on my plate.

At times, this is almost comical (less so if I am hungry!), but I am now used to all-meat restaurants. I am all-too familiar with the “vegetable sandwich” containing tuna. I have answered countless questions about what I actually eat and do I get enough protein? (Yes, thank you. I am a big fan of beans!) Meat is a big part of the eating culture here, and I’m thankful that I have been able to navigate through this to enjoy some spectacular meals.

More and more restaurants in Valencia are also offering vegetarian-only menus or vegan dishes that are more than just some frozen meat alternative on a bun. It’s a growing opportunity, as more and more people are plant-based eating here in Valencia. And with the seasonal produce, this is a foodie’s dream opportunity. I’m happy about that, and look forward to being able to find veggie-forward dishes in more and more restaurants.

While this post is about the food culture in Valencia, and I still have more to share. Stay tuned for more about language barriers, bureaucracy, and even vacation expectations.

Want to learn more? Check out the book recommendation below!

Keep exploring!

The Clever Expat